Gobble, Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving! Besides all the usual stuff I'm thankful for each and every year - health, happiness, and the 2 fab faces below, here are a few additional things....

I am thankful that I didn't have to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the whole family, since my oven died on Tuesday evening. I am also thankful that the microwave still works so we will have some way to heat up my mom's yummy leftovers!

I am thankful that, even though the NFL Network is carrying the Colts game today (and we don't get that channel), said Network is "allowing" a local Indy (and Atlanta) station to carry the game. So although we will watch with full bellies, we will definitely have a taste for a little Falcon for dessert!

I am thankful that, as we were getting ready to leave my parents' house last night and Q was wailing b/c he didn't want to leave his cousins, my mom offered to keep him overnight so he could still play well into the evening. (Our family Thanksgiving dinner was on Wed - T'giving Eve.) For her generous efforts, the rest of the gang wanted to stay. So it was a 5-grandkid sleepover. My sisters and I are thankful. The grandparents? They at least live to tell.....

I am thankful that these same generous parents of mine are driving 2+ hours today to return my beloved son. (And are bringing the aforementioned leftovers!)

And finally, I am most thankful that, while my parents are en route to central Indiana, my sweet daughter is napping and hubby (sorry for your luck, dear) is at work. This means quiet, empty house for me. For the next hour or so at least. I think this might even be better than pumpkin pie!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

May your blessings out-number the calories you are about to consume!

Different, Yet the Same

Two weeks ago, November 2, marked the 1-year anniversary of the day we finally got our first look at the girl who would become our daughter. The day before, November 1, we knew that "the stork" was on the way to our agency, but it was on the 2nd that we finally got the good news: a little 10-month old girl was waiting for us in Guangxi, China. The 14-month wait seemed to melt away in an instant and I couldn't stop staring at the photos. Trying to remember every inch of her face. Wondering what her personality was like, and wondering who she would become and who we would become together.
Around the anniversary of our referral (that's what they call it when you get the info on your kiddo), I was sharing some rememberances with others who also got their referrals that day. One of my fellow APs (adoptive parents) asked me about how this was different from the day Quinn was born, knowing that it had to be different but certainly no less special. And of course, he was right - it was quite different, but certainly no less special. And this all got to me thinking. (So watch out...here we go!).

If you've spent any time at all in adoption-talk circles, you'll hear people try to assign various pregnancy-type words/phrases to what it is like to adopt. "We're paper pregnant!" expectant parents will declare. "The stork is on the way", our agency tells us. "The 24-hour trip to China is like labor...or is that the 24-hour trip home with a new child?!" And on and on it goes. Not that there's anything wrong with this. And I think it's one way to try to get those who've never been touched by adoption to somehow relate to the rest of us. But it falls short. On both ends.
For example, nothing can compare to labor. And in my case, I mean this in a good way....I was very relaxed and pain-free (God bless the scientist who discovered epidurals and fentanyl!), enjoying a nice convo with my hubby and a bit of the NCAA b-ball tournament. Others, obviously, have had it different. You've heard the horror stories. But when Nov 2, 2006 came around and we were waiting to see K for the first time, well, nothing compares to that either. For one thing, no drugs or goofy hospital gown; no one waiting on me hand and foot. And still, when I saw her face for the first time, I cried happy tears just the same. I studied her face nonstop for hours, trying to memorize it, just like I did with Baby Quinn. (I was so worried about not being able to pick him out from the sea of babies in the hospital nursery!) I wondered about our futures. And I loved.

You know, often people become adoptive parents as a second choice, a fall back plan. When the original plan of "having your own" doesn't work out. Some folks head straight to adoption. And others...well, there are as many stories out there as there are people who adopt.

But the bottom line is this: it is in no way second-best.
Yes, it is different. In so many ways. I've barely scratched the surface here.
But the good news is: the love is the same.

**********************

Your lucky day...if you stuck around to read the above, you now get treated to a few more fabulous photos. Who could ask for anything more? That's really why you come here in the first place, no?

And here she is. Little Miss My-Future's-So-Bright-I-Gotta-Wear-Shades!

Below Keira is channeling her inner-cat. Waiting to pounce. Although on what, I'm not sure.
(Note above and below: Bows! In her hair! For more than 2 minutes! Getting them in can be a struggle, but at least my work wasn't for naught.)

Here, Quinn and his old man are having a bit of fun in the front yard.
It was all fun and games until somebody started putting leaves down someone else's shirt. And I'm not naming names, but his initials are D.A.D.!

Below and/or to the right (depending on how you are viewing this, you see Keira diving into her first jelly doughnut. She is still so averse to fruits and vegetables that I actually counted the raspberry jelly in this fine, fine breakfast food as a serving of fruit. Betcha never knew Dunkin' Donuts was serving health food, did ya'?

And to the left, Keira-cat. Contemplating some evil-doings with her brother's trains. She was a kitty for Halloween and she still occasionally wears her ears. What she really loves, however, is the tail. Not as much as she loves jelly doughnuts. But almost.

In Our Minds and In Our Hearts

Once again, it's been awhile since my last blog post. This time, it's not due to some general apathy on my part. Unfortunately, instead, the reason for so long between posts is that we were out of town a bit last week, attending to family matters. Hubby lost his oldest brother after a lengthy battle with an illness.

Explaining death is never easy, especially when the one who has passed on seemed to go too soon. And when you have young children around to ask questions, you never know what you'll get.

So, after hearing the sad news last week, I headed to our library later that day, sat on the floor and read and read, and then checked out 4 kids books from the bunches and bunches available (our library rocks!). I wanted to have something ready for when the questions came.

My mom might be chuckling by now, because I'm so predictable: when the going gets tough, the tough turn to books. But hey, if someone's been through this before and has shared it all by writing it down, why not take a look? Why reinvent the wheel? I like to see what's out there and take the best of what I find...

So now, in an attempt to share something worthwhile, after such a sad time in our family, I thought I'd post about some of books we read. (We didn't sit and just read these together, one after the other; the books served more as a resource to me - to have some good words to use to explain this time in our lives.)

Also, since Uncle J loved books and loved reading, I'm hoping that sharing this info would somehow please him.

OK, on with the list....

Jellybeans, by Sylvia van Ommen
This is a short, sweet book. Two friends, a rabbit and a cat if I remember correctly, are meeting up and seem to randomly talk about what it might be like in heaven - will they meet up? would they still be friends? can they eat jellybeans together?



I'll Miss You, Mr. Hooper, by Norman Stiles (based on the Sesame Street TV script)
Hard to go wrong with word from the Street. Had some nice parent discussion pointers after the story as well.




What's Heaven? by Maria Shriver (yes, that Maria Shriver)
This book had way too many words, was way too long to read to Quinn. I did read it myself, however, and got some nice little kid-friendly phrases to use in discussions that we had later in the week.



Where Do People Go When They Die? by Mindy Avra Portnoy


My personal favorite. Written by a Rabbi, but not faith-specific. The book shows several different children asking the title question to various family members. They each answer differently, but yet it puts it all together. There is also an afterword in this book, which provides tips to parents on having a discussion about death.


Where do people go when they die? "They go to God. Who is everywhere. In heaven and on earth. In our minds and in our hearts. In the past and in the future. In each of us who remembers them always."

We will remember you always, JPB.
Amen.