Different, Yet the Same

Two weeks ago, November 2, marked the 1-year anniversary of the day we finally got our first look at the girl who would become our daughter. The day before, November 1, we knew that "the stork" was on the way to our agency, but it was on the 2nd that we finally got the good news: a little 10-month old girl was waiting for us in Guangxi, China. The 14-month wait seemed to melt away in an instant and I couldn't stop staring at the photos. Trying to remember every inch of her face. Wondering what her personality was like, and wondering who she would become and who we would become together.
Around the anniversary of our referral (that's what they call it when you get the info on your kiddo), I was sharing some rememberances with others who also got their referrals that day. One of my fellow APs (adoptive parents) asked me about how this was different from the day Quinn was born, knowing that it had to be different but certainly no less special. And of course, he was right - it was quite different, but certainly no less special. And this all got to me thinking. (So watch out...here we go!).

If you've spent any time at all in adoption-talk circles, you'll hear people try to assign various pregnancy-type words/phrases to what it is like to adopt. "We're paper pregnant!" expectant parents will declare. "The stork is on the way", our agency tells us. "The 24-hour trip to China is like labor...or is that the 24-hour trip home with a new child?!" And on and on it goes. Not that there's anything wrong with this. And I think it's one way to try to get those who've never been touched by adoption to somehow relate to the rest of us. But it falls short. On both ends.
For example, nothing can compare to labor. And in my case, I mean this in a good way....I was very relaxed and pain-free (God bless the scientist who discovered epidurals and fentanyl!), enjoying a nice convo with my hubby and a bit of the NCAA b-ball tournament. Others, obviously, have had it different. You've heard the horror stories. But when Nov 2, 2006 came around and we were waiting to see K for the first time, well, nothing compares to that either. For one thing, no drugs or goofy hospital gown; no one waiting on me hand and foot. And still, when I saw her face for the first time, I cried happy tears just the same. I studied her face nonstop for hours, trying to memorize it, just like I did with Baby Quinn. (I was so worried about not being able to pick him out from the sea of babies in the hospital nursery!) I wondered about our futures. And I loved.

You know, often people become adoptive parents as a second choice, a fall back plan. When the original plan of "having your own" doesn't work out. Some folks head straight to adoption. And others...well, there are as many stories out there as there are people who adopt.

But the bottom line is this: it is in no way second-best.
Yes, it is different. In so many ways. I've barely scratched the surface here.
But the good news is: the love is the same.

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Your lucky day...if you stuck around to read the above, you now get treated to a few more fabulous photos. Who could ask for anything more? That's really why you come here in the first place, no?

And here she is. Little Miss My-Future's-So-Bright-I-Gotta-Wear-Shades!

Below Keira is channeling her inner-cat. Waiting to pounce. Although on what, I'm not sure.
(Note above and below: Bows! In her hair! For more than 2 minutes! Getting them in can be a struggle, but at least my work wasn't for naught.)

Here, Quinn and his old man are having a bit of fun in the front yard.
It was all fun and games until somebody started putting leaves down someone else's shirt. And I'm not naming names, but his initials are D.A.D.!

Below and/or to the right (depending on how you are viewing this, you see Keira diving into her first jelly doughnut. She is still so averse to fruits and vegetables that I actually counted the raspberry jelly in this fine, fine breakfast food as a serving of fruit. Betcha never knew Dunkin' Donuts was serving health food, did ya'?

And to the left, Keira-cat. Contemplating some evil-doings with her brother's trains. She was a kitty for Halloween and she still occasionally wears her ears. What she really loves, however, is the tail. Not as much as she loves jelly doughnuts. But almost.